A lot of people get frustrated by the things they can't do or can't buy or can't have. Of course, this is only natural. The two schools of perspective in life takes it either you see things with the glass half-full or half-empty; and I do not know why but from a general observation it is easier to see if there's something wrong more than something's right.

In my case, the world is against me; but I take heed not of it, or at least turn a blind eye, a deaf ear and a colds-ridden nose. The world is divisible by zero but there is no chance of ever solving for its value; this finite mind has very achievable limits.

To put it in a simpler way, I can't go barging in on places and take photos or even just walk around because of several reasons, most probably:
1.) I don't own a car
2.) I don't even have a camera... well I do, but not a dSLR
3.) I can't bitch people around especially security personnel who can fatally damage my head by either a.)whacking it with a metal or hardwood stick or b.) blast it apart with a gun.
4.) I'm a nobody nobody
5.) I got "more important things to do" that society dictates I should but they can't do themselves because they have people like me do it and that their "better things to do" involve having people like me not doing those better things of theirs.

There are a lot of places in our country I'd like to visit, many of them not so far away, but they are not for mine filthy eyes to gaze upon- for they are reserved for the dainty feet of the rich and powerful. No, you can't lay a finger on marble slabs for their rotting dead, on bronze plaques covering their ash-converted departed.

But ranting is useless, as far as I have learned. It does nothing, solves nothing, and even as an outlet of broken pride or anger or hatred or scorn, it is ineffective. So I tried a different approach to it, and is on the course of turning my own brain into a frying pan of sorts.

Consequently, as much as self-arguing could be commenced, a cross-examination of facts literal and philosophical presented quite a not-so-good situation. There is sufficient evidence for the matter at hand that the solution I seek is almost non-existent even by the most extensive privileges granted by statistical laws. I end up blank, in the end, as sure as any fool would in attempting to solve for the complete value of pi.

For this reason, I turn to God, the Founder of reason beyond imaginable thought, of mathematical-law-defying calculations and the Master of infallible logic. Whereas the 86-100 billion neurons in my head would fail in its daily operations and involuntary, unimagined schematics to give me a half-decent answer, His solutions would provide me with adequate time to prepare and would only require very little- 1.)prayer 2.) faith. Little big things, by context.

How it goes I do not know. There's always the thrill of not knowing and getting to know it. But for now, the fact cannot change that I cannot go the way other people did it because of their inborn advantages; there is a way around it, but it will take more effort, blood and sweat.


===================================================================

THE SHORTHAND VERSION

I wanted to go to this cool place because me and my cosplay buddies want to try it out as a location for a photoshoot. But lo and behold; it isn't a public park. It's a private memorial park. Well of course I can't contest the fact that it's meant to be a tranquil place not for purposes such as ours, but seeing the presence of those who managed to do activities with such purpose succeed, it brings to mind that "maybe, we can, too?"

On the general outlook it seems far-off, far-fetched, and ultimately a gallant thing to do. Why on earth would we even choose the place? Because it fits the theme. Of course one's art can't go beyond the boundaries of law and I respect that. And hate it at the same time.

So yeah I pray to God to help us in this endeavor to be done, and whatever answer He gives us I'll accept. Robie and I will try going there ourselves to see if we could enter without much of a hassle, but if we can't, then sadly, yeah, we will conclude it's not some place for mere Class-C and below people to walk into.

I wholeheartedly accept my being poor and being Filipino and being a part of this impoverished country whose eyes favor the White Collars.
********************************

Come to think of it, it's been almost two years since I lost wrote here..